


Coffee in the dead of night

by Kanekane



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, Self-cest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 19:03:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2784221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanekane/pseuds/Kanekane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a place for me to post all my KaneKaneWeek fanfics. Tags will be added when needed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hope

**Author's Note:**

> So I thought it would be a good idea to post that fics here too, even though their quality are very questionable...
> 
> I'm sorry, I didn't edit them and English is not my first language but I hope someone can have a little fun reading it. 
> 
> Day 1 - Domesticity (kinda).

He knew that two versions of himself lived inside his mind, one with black hair and shiny grey eyes and another that he liked to think as a mere silhouette, the one that he choose to represent who he was at the present.

In the beginning, Kaneki looked to his old self as some kind of mirage, something left behind. It took him some time to understand that it was more than that, more than a precious memory that haunted him is his dreams;he had to accept his own changes, accept that he was another type of person.

Kaneki then started to have the confidence to look at himself in the mirror, to touch his white hair and remember the person he was, who he wanted to be again. Most important, he now could admit that he couldn’t return to the past for it was more than impossible; his old self was someone entirely different, someone who now walked freely through his mind, a whole person who could think and act by his own terms.

The guilt and shame for forgetting his humanity started to fade, surpassed by the smile his another self liked to show every time Kaneki saw him, be it in dreams or when Kaneki himself pursued his presence.

Sometimes he liked to sit on his bed and close his eyes, remembering old days, watching happy memories about his mother, sometimes about Hide. Sometimes he liked to watch the other Kaneki, to see him walk through the blank space inside his head, to pick up a book and read it for what seemed hours and hours in a row. It was a very calming activity.

They started to live in a comfortable silence, acknowledging each other even though they didn’t really share any words. Kaneki knew they were still coming to terms between themselves, but he dared to hope; hope that things would be better, that he would find peace within himself, eventually.


	2. Coffee and promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 - Black Coffee and Nightmare.

Black coffee, that would do the trick.

Kaneki sighed, picking up the cup and blowing the steam, his eyes fixated on the white haired boy in the living room.

Thinking about it, the whole situation was very strange, unbelievable and even hilarious, after all, the other just showed at his door one night, saying that they were the same person, but from different times. They certainly looked alike, the voices sounded the same, but Kaneki just bought the entire history, he let the strange (or Shiro, that was the name the guy wanted to be called) enter his house without further question.

Hide would probably smack him in the head when he heard about it.

It was awkward. They sat on the sofa and Kaneki, very uncomfortable, started to look at him. His white hair and tired eyes drew his attention, making him wonder what had happened, making him wonder if this person was really a version of himself.

"Go on, ask" - he said at some point, startling the black haired boy.

"I— Uh… Ok" - Kaneki said carefully, looking down to his hands before he started to talk- "So, you said you’re from the future, but what exactly are you doing here…?"

At this, Shiro smiled. It was just a tiny movement, something subtle, but there anyway.

"It’s a very long history, but I can say that that is my second chance" - and he didn’t say anything more, even though Kaneki’s confusion was very easy to see; he didn’t understand, he didn’t know what was happening or if he could really trust that stranger with white hair.

They stayed there, for minutes, just in silence, hearing the clock and the rain that slowly started to pour outside.

"I can stay in another place if you don’t feel comfortable enough" - Shiro said quietly, looking to his old self with a neutral expression.

And Kaneki felt his mouth moving before his own brain could process the words - “No, it’s fine! I-I mean, it’s raining right now and, uh…” - great, he was embarrassing himself again; calm down, deep breath - “You can stay, I think it won’t be a problem…” - even though he wasn’t that sure…

"Don’t worry"- there was the smile again - "I won’t bit bite you" - and Kaneki knew it was a joke, but he still felt a shiver go down his spine.

"I…" - Kaneki started, moving a little, clearing his throat; that whole situation was extremely weird - "I wanted to know—"

"If I’m really you?"

They looked at each other, Kaneki feeling his lips starting to close in a tight line while Shiro remained impassive.

The white haired boy looked to a nearby shelf, starting to talk about the books in there, about times when Hide closed said books in his (their?) fingers. He said some things about the blond, about the university, about things that only Kaneki could know.

In the end, the black haired boy was left with wide eyes, his heart pounding fast inside the rib cage.

"I think I need a time… To think" - he said in a very low tone, getting up and heading to his own room. That was too much information, too much for his brain to accept.

Shiro just watched him; maybe it was a poor decision to tell almost everything to his past self? He could predict Kaneki’s actions and even thoughts at some degree, but, in the end, they weren’t the same person anymore; he had developed new characteristics, new ways to see his own life. He forgot about his humanity, even about some of his memories.

In some extent, he wasn’t Kaneki Ken anymore.

That same night, while Shiro was sleeping, Kaneki had nightmares. Dreams where he was alone, where his mother died and he was lost in the dark, asking for help, crying hopeless. He woke up sweating, trying to breathe even though it was like a hand was squeezing his lungs.

He hated that kind of dreams, he hated to see that he was, in fact, alone in the world.

Kaneki stood, knowing that his mind and body wouldn’t set in the next minutes, not when the images were so vivid in his eyes and heart.

He took a deep, calming breath, walking to the kitchen, remembering about Shiro the moment he saw him on the sofa, apparently sleeping.

Kaneki tried to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to disturb the other; he wasn’t ready to face him yet.

He looked for coffee, yeah, black coffee would do the trick. He poured a little, sitting on the chair and blowing the steam, taking a sip and regretting it immediately; it was horrible.

“—Ugh” – and that was why he didn’t prepare his own coffee.

“Do you want me to make some to you?” – Shiro asked quietly, standing near the door; for how long was he there?

Kaneki studied his face for some seconds, pressing his fingers on the hot cup before finally deciding for an answer.

“Yes, if it won’t be too much trouble…” – and Shiro just approached, starting the delicate process of making coffee.

“I’m sorry” – he said eventually, adding sugar to the drink – “I didn’t want to scare you…”

“…It’s okay… I… I just want to understand” – Shiro put the coffee in front of Kaneki, sitting in the next available chair.

“With time. I promise” – and Kaneki knew he could trust him.


End file.
